Wednesday, October 21, 2009

What Couples Need Most

Last night at our Husband's Stimulus Night, Jay Laffoon challenged us to woo our wives.

We were all in. Can't think of anyone in the room who disagreed, or even resisted. Can't believe any husband would. The thing is - we were all there, all paid $5, all sacrificed an evening, because we want to woo our wives. Jay helped us know how to do that better, and motivated us to get it done.

The persistent dilemma, however, is in finding the time and energy to do it. This was especially expressed in the Q&A:

  • We want to spend time with our wives.
  • It doesn't have to lead to sex (not that we'd refuse it!).
  • The busy-ness, distractions, demands, of work, family, money, church, etc. make the time available to spend with our wives disappear.
What to do? Your ideas are welcome, so please comment about what's worked for you or others. In the meantime, here are some of my thoughts:

  • When you're juggling all those balls in your life, and it seems like your future depends on each one of them continuing to circulate in the air, it's the balls that seem optional that get missed and dropped. You've got a job, and the kids, and demands around the house, and other things that demand a place in the priority list. Dating your wife, or even finding some time to talk without distraction, seems like one of the easiest things to lose in the mix.
  • Whatever actions you take to accomplish it, time with your wife needs to be bumped up the priority list. It needs to become as urgent as anything else you do. More important than work, kids, and home repair.
  • Whatever actions you take, you will have to sacrifice something. (Sacrifice, according to Ephesians 5, is the very definition of the love husbands should have for their wives). Jay emphasized that the only relationship that should come before our wives is the one we have with God. So any other competing time-taker in our lives is fair game for the sacrifice. 
  • Jay also spoke of Tozer's description of the Christian life: Magnify God, Mortify Self, Simplify. To simplify means dropping some of the balls we keep trying to juggle. You need to drop a couple of them so that you can pick up the one you've left on the floor - your time with your wife. Don't think that you can keep juggling all of them, or even add a few. 
  • Your wife will see your sacrifice. And maybe that will help her to drop a juggling ball and make more time for the both of you.
  • Remember - Your kids need not only to have parents who stay together without a divorce--they need to have parents who love each other profoundly.
  • So, the question becomes--What are you willing to sacrifice?
Let me know what you're thinking. Women--you can chime in, too. And you can comment even if you weren't at the Marriage Stimulus Night.

Monday, October 19, 2009

Those Scary Flashy Gifts

Next Sunday we're taking a look at those scary flashy spiritual gifts -- the ones that show up most often in "those other churches" where the services go for hours on end, where there always  seem to be bodies laying around on the floor, and where the pastors are called preachers and wear white clothes and white shoes to go with their white hair.

Oh, the stereotypes! Stereotypes are usually earned by history and culture, so we'll talk about some of that.

But seriously - have you ever experienced a scary flashy spiritual gift? Do you actually have one? Can you tell us about it? You can do it anonymously here. Know this: your story may help someone else, so please let us in on your experiences. I'd be grateful if you did.

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Ministry Muster

We had a productive Muster Sunday! Two "push" ideas have been picked up by people who will run with them this Christmas:
  • Neighborhood Caroling - Heidi Tamez will be working on this one.
  • 25 Days of Random Acts of Grace - Kaila O. has some great ideas and will head it up.
In addition, here are actions that have already been taken based on the Muster:
  • Website Traffic is now being monitored for
  • Jay Laffoon YouTube is up on
Thanks to all who attended the Muster. Thanks to Linda B., Trina S., Ann N., and others who helped with the food. Thanks to Linda B. for watching the kiddos.